This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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