i just made my gag reflex go away.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How external is "for external use only"?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
