i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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