just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize