Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
