Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
