Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
