I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
