wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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