I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize