BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
