Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
