Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
we're so committed to being not committed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
