You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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