Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize