Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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