Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
