I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
