She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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