I want to have your abortion
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
