I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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