it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
