we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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