she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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