im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't turn off my feet"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
