It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i think my cat just said my name.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
