Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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