Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
