another moral hangover. fuck.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
