I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize