if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
