can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
