Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
