The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
