Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
