do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
