I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
