Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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