this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
