Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
