i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
