ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
