So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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