so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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