If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
