Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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