You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
