New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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