So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
