I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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