you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
