I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no you cant smoke seaweed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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