so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
