my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
