he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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