I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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