So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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